STILL HERE TODAVÍA AQUI
Artist Statement
Felicia T Perez (“Lucha”)
"Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable." — Cesar Cruz
On December 18, 2012, I was 36 years old and sitting in a doctor’s office learning that either I had a rare eye cancer with up to 5 years left to live, or an equally rare and incurable autoimmune disorder that would result in a long-term chronic illness. Idiopathic orbital pseudotumor with a cranial extension, would soon be a phrase I would learn to memorize along with, I am allergic to azathioprine. I have had 11 rounds of radiation to my brain and right eye. I was on an average of 90 milligrams of prednisone for five years. I’ve had an IVIG transfusion. I now have pernicious anemia from the medicines I’ve taken and have to inject B12 into my leg every three weeks. I had cataract surgery in both eyes due to all the medication effects. I am post menopausal at an early age because all the chemo killed my ovaries. My immune system is constantly compromised because not letting my body fight itself is how I stay alive and keep full eye and brain function. I just finished my 40th chemotherapy infusion and will probably have 300 of them by the time I die. That is, if I don’t die of cancer before the age of 73.
In a reverse Hansel and Gretel strategy, I collect all of my medical refuse and use it as the material for mixed media art that attempts to show and tell what it’s like to live a life that is so overwhelmingly surrounded by death. In short, what is still here when life starts to slip away and transform itself.
The art I create is a physical call and response of items, emotions, events, and people from the moment when my first eye/brain tumor was discovered to the present day. You’ll notice the routines of actions, the repetition of items, and the absence and presence of certain people and things. I play with what is and isn’t real through toys and costumes. I hint and foreshadow how this life story may end and what it will require along the way. I use blue (like a robin’s egg) and orange (like marigold flowers) to show the constant contrast between life and death.
Looking at and through this work will deliberately feel uncomfortable for those who have never lived through or witnessed a life full of continual medical care and resilience. Those who have shared this life experience, whether through illness or chronic caregiving, may find comfort in seeing their lives reflected back to them by design. It is my hope that by seeing this work you will begin, or continue, to reflect on what you would like to remain with you or with others. We all fight every day to still be here todavía.
Exhibit Sounds
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*NOTE: Folks should play this playlist while viewing the remaining contents of this page. Songs on this playlist have been added and listened to on the way to each radiation treatment and during every chemo treatment. Songs will continue to be added as long as treatment is needed.
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Exhibit Photos
SPECIAL THANKS TO:
And of course nothing would be complete without thanking my family (Morales, Perez & Hobson). Thanks to all of you for all of the endless support!
*Special gratitude going out for my Mom (Phyllis Perez) and my Sister (Lena Perez) who have been my most committed fans and cheerleaders on this project. Amor Eterno for sure!
- Emily Hobson
- Piper Bridges Fila & Family
- The Committee: Erin O'Brien & Family, Kimi Lee & Family, Sophie Fanelli & Family
- Noelia Sanchez & Family
- Ani Burge & Family
- Jared Stanley & Family
- Lydia Huerta & Family
- Vanessa Vancour & Family
- Jen Scherba & Family
- Laila Emir & Family
- Escenthio Marigny Jr.
- Patrick Peterson & Kyler Spruill
- The Amazing Out of Towners Crew: Bernice, Christine, Danielle, Nadia, Lawrence, LJ, Rae, Farhad, Neema, Kedar & Theeba
- The Center for Story-based Strategy
- The Holland Project
- The Sylvia River Center for Social Justice
- All friends of Bill W.
And of course nothing would be complete without thanking my family (Morales, Perez & Hobson). Thanks to all of you for all of the endless support!
*Special gratitude going out for my Mom (Phyllis Perez) and my Sister (Lena Perez) who have been my most committed fans and cheerleaders on this project. Amor Eterno for sure!
Click on the logo to make a donation to The Holland Project to keep up local art shows here is Reno, Nevada.